If You Were Gay
by waveangel
Summary: Sasuke's back in konoha...and flat sharing with Naruto, who comes home with a story which his roomate doesn't want to hear at the moment. One thing leads to another, and Naruto breaks into song. Really suck at summaries but should be a laugh. T for safet.


_Wave angel: yessss...i got bored, again, as per, and this came out of the randomness that is my brain. Inspired by Avenue Q- which has epic songs and i wish i could find a way to see the whole thing :'(. Anyways, hope you enjoy..._

**If you were gay**

Sasuke sighed happily. He was alone in the apartment he had to share with Naruto until Konoha was completely rebuilt (his house was going to be the last one built, since he'd only been back for a little while and hardly anyone was happy about that. Naruto being one of the few who was). It was just him, the _entire _sofa, the TV remote, and a huge tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream he'd hid in a bag of frozen peas in the freezer so Naruto didn't eat it.

Squirming to get comfy, the Uchicha stretched out on the sofa, a real luxury as Naruto usually took up so much room, relaxing and picking up the remote.

_Ahh...make me laugh 'Mock the Week'... _he thought to himself as he switched on Dave.

"Hey Sasuke! I'm back!"

Sasuke frowned at the blond guy who'd just entered via the window, "why? You weren't supposed to be back until later."

"I finished early!" Naruto grinned happily, as Sasuke tried to hide his disappointment. Couldn't he have _one afternoon_ to himself?

"_Great_," Sasuke muttered.

"hey! You'll never guess what happened to me at lunch!"

"let me try? Where you by any chance abducted by aliens, who performed gruesome tests on you and made you watch 'Carmelldansen' for ten hours straight?"

Naruto frowned, "Phh, no, that's ridiculous."

"shame," Sasuke turned back to the TV.

"so there I was," Naruto continued, not noticing the death-glare he was shot as Sasuke discovered that he couldn't drown him out by turning the volume up on the TV using the remote, "getting some ramen for lunch, when this guy walks up to me, and he was smiling at me, and talking to me."

"uh-huh...that's very interesting Naruto," Sasuke said absentmindedly as he leaned forward, trying to hear what Russell Howard (3!) was saying.

"yeah, he was acting _real_ friendly," Naruto looked up at the ceiling, thinking. His eyes widened, "hey Sasuke!"

"What?" Sasuke shot him another death-glare as laughter erupted from the TV.

"I think he was coming on to me! I think he thought _I _was gay!" The blond lovable idiot yelled.

Sasuke looked at him, "and...why are you telling me this? Why would I care?" the raven-haired guy looked back to the TV, "newsflash: I don't care. Whose turn is it to cook today?"

Naruto blinked, "well there's no need to get defensive about it."

Sasuke froze, then growled, "I am _NOT_ getting defensive about it!"

"But- " Naruto began, looking hurt.

"no!" Sasuke cut him off, "I don't care about you meeting a gay guy, okay? I just want to watch some 'Mock the Week' in peace."

"well, I didn't mean anything by it Sasuke," Naruto said, trying to patch things up as he realised he'd touched a nerve, "I just thought you might want to hear about my day, since you're always stuck in here."

"well I don't _want_ to hear about right now, I'm trying to watch a program." Sasuke tried to block his roommate's presence. And failed.

"But-"

"No! Shh!" Sasuke shot Naruto a glare.

"okay..." Naruto sighed, and began to sing, "but just so you know; if you were gay, it'd be okay. And, well hey, I'd like you anyway."

"Naruto please, I'm trying-"

"because, well, you see; if it were me, I'd feel free to say, 'hey Sasuke, guess what? I'm gay!'- but I'm not gay."

Sasuke tried to tune his friend out, fearing death by embarrassment, "Naruto, please stop singing, you're only embarrassing yourself."

Naruto grinned at him.

"What?"

"if you were queer,"

"oh god there's more?"

"I'd still be here!"

"Naruto I'm trying to watch TV!" Sasuke yelled, turning the TV up using a button on the TV itself.

"Year after year!"

"Naruto!"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR TO ME!"

Sasuke picked up a cushion and tried to cover his head with it, "Naruto stop!"

"AND I KNOW THAT YOU..."

"what?" Sasuke asked hesitantly, not sure if he would like the answer.

"WOULD ACCEPT ME TOOOOO!"

"really?" the Uchicha raised an eyebrow, wondering what on earth Naruto had had.

"IF I TOLD YOU TODAY; 'HEY GUESS WHAT? I'M GAY!' but I'm not gay."

There was a pause.

"is that it? are you done?"

"I'M HAPPY..."

Sasuke ran and locked himself in the bathroom, just to escape the singing.

"JUST BEING WITH YOU..."

"Naruto please shut up so I can come out and watch my show!"

"SO WHY SHOULD IT MATTER TO ME, WHAT YOU DO IN BED WITH GUYS?"

"oh god, Naruto! Stop! Now!" Sasuke yelled, covering his ears. Even his time with Orochimaru hadn't been this traumatic.

"IF YOU WERE GAY! I'D SHOUT, HURRAY!"

"Naruto I am NOT listening to this," a yell came from behind the bathroom door.

"AND HERE I'D STAY..."

"go to your happy place Sasuke, your happy place," the raven haired guy told himself, rocking slightly as he sat on the bathroom floor.

"BUT I WOULDN'T GET IN YOUR WAY!"

"Naruto shut up! The last thing I need is for someone to hear you and start thinking I'm gay!" Sasuke shouted, _I need fanboys like I need...i dunno...a pet rock?_

"YOU CAN COUNT ON MEEEE TO ALWAYS BEEEE BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY, YOU WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY, AND, AS THEY SAY, IT'S IN YOUR DNA, YOU'RE GAY!"

"BUT I'M NOT GAY NARUTO!"

Naruto blinked, "I know...it was just if you were gay."

Sasuke faceplanted the door.

Sometimes, it was _really_ hard to remember why he was friends with Naruto.

Really,_ really_ hard.

_Ta-da! Finished, hope you liked. Please review...please?_


End file.
